Bookmaking Jenny

I had the most sensitive moment today. Belle & Sebastian's "Judy and the Dream of Horses" played through my entire walk from the Hemingway center to my car, which happened at twilight after I spent an hour cutting interesting words and pictures out of cardboard boxes for class. The only way it could have been more sensitive is if I'd been heading across campus on a vintage cruiser with a basket on the front, heading to my home/job at the local church. Now I'm farting around on Myspace and "867-5309 Jenny" just came on.
Today in class we visisted the Reserved books, and got to see the oldest books in the library's collection. One of them has given me an idea for a classroom edition project, (this is the thing where I have to make a copy of the book for everyone in class, in case you couldn't tell.) It's called The Anatomy of Melancholy and it offers, satirically,
"THE ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY, WHAT IT IS, WITH ALL THE KINDS, CAUSES, SYMPTOMS, PROGNOSTICS, AND SEVERAL CURES OF IT."
So what I need to do is come up with a more modern "condition" which can be humorously represented, like angst, existential dread, road rage, or similar and its causes and effects. Any suggestions would be welcome. This will be hilarious!
OMG I just had to add that I just saw a funny sketch on Chappelle's Show where they showed what the internet would be like if it were a place. It was gross and dirty and funny!